¸¸.•´¯`•. Jagged Guitar•:*¨¨*:•. ¸¸ (njneere) wrote,
¸¸.•´¯`•. Jagged Guitar•:*¨¨*:•. ¸¸

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Kids, wonderful kids...

Man, I KNOW I wasn't that bad when I was 18. My lovely daughter was screaming at the top of her lungs at me yesterday because I didn't feel like doing the dishes she ordered me to do. Mind you, I made breakfast an hour before for the both of us, and dinner the night before for me, her, and her brother...

Not anything out of the ordinary, except I was on the phone with Dell trying to figure out where her new laptop for college was, and why it isn't on my doorstep yet... I was pretty upset by the time the lady I was on the phone with asked if I was OK, [after she heard Heather yelled to me "Fuck off, asshole" in her own sweet words] even though I had not said one word to my precious little dear-ie daughter whom I would love to just [deleted] the shit out of her, but crap, I don't wanna go to the clink - even though its prolly WORTH IT!!! It would be nice to invent a "human delete" button sometimes...

So I made a decision that goes like this: Until the know-it-all starts respecting me, and the fact that she's sleeping here for free [well, sometimes here], eating here for free, using my internet and cable tv for free, and borrows [but never pays back] moola from me like I'm an ATM [which I really wouldn't mind being so much if she's only act as though she actually liked me once in a while] and did the GOD DAMN DISHES HERSELF!!!
maybe she should live with her mom...
[while I pay all the bills anyway]

Mortgage - (house payment) 1500
Alimony - 1300
Child support -(My son, Josh) 400
utilities - elect, gas - 200
internet / tv - 150
food 300+

Amongst other shit, like taxes... But she don't give a care...

And so, the money train stops right now, little miss adult! You wanna treat me like that? Well, come crying about not having gas money to get to work and watch me laugh my self to tears. Walk, dork! You shouldn't have bought that CD this week when you didn't have gas to get home from the store you got it from in the first place, because you bounced the check for the CD anyhow] Little turd doesn't even realize she's got a pretty cool & talented dad, [if I might say that without really sounding like I'm boasting]. But I really am a good dude.. I have hundreds of friends here and in California, and all over for that matter. Many of my pals call me their BEST friend. Not many people can say that honestly. I can.

This isn't an isolated event, ppl. This is the culmination of years of her treating me like this, and me finally stopping helping her. I ain't doing nice things for that kid for a long time - at least until she gets her head out of her ass, and starts treating me decently. I never asked for much in return... I was always happy with a hug or an I love you... Haven't gotten either from anyone in years, and I'm tired, and lonely because of it... I don't want to be bitter any more

Life or death shit only for Heather for a while... Meaning I'll be there when I should be, but that's it. She's on her own. I was on my own at 16. Just for a reference.

Friggin ingrate.

I blame a lot of this shit on her mom, [but I would accept it all if it would just stop]. See, her [college graduate of a mom] always made me out to be the bad guy when the kid throws her patented tantrums that lasts for hours. After she would scream at me so long, with no one but me and Heather in the house, I would finally blow up, and sometimes even lose my cool over her words, and that's when my ex usually would walk in, and blame ME for getting out of hand.
My kid almost never got into trouble from her mom for creating the whole ugly scene in the first place. That's why I divorced the bitch. That was the single biggest reason I quit loving her [my ex, Kim]. I never really got to be a father because of that logic. I do still love my kids. Why, I just don't know anymore... They both treat me like shit. And I now hate that.

Monday, Heather stole an ounce of weed from me , and got caught selling it at her work, but DIDN'T get fired! The little Asian woman running the dry cleaners lost her husband, and Heather [my kid, who is a great con] watches her kids on the side, so she only got a warning. Lucky stiff. I wanted to smash the 42" HDTV I got her for XMAS last year to bits!!!

Why am I writing all this shit and letting you young ones see this?
So maybe you all might reflect a little, and stop taking parents for granted. It would kill us if you got hurt, and we kill ourselves so you can have your Jordache and Gucci shit & your stupid $300 Ipods, and $1400 Plasma TVS, and all that shit, Then you go and steal my WEED! I don't think so. Hell, I was sharing it with you! Fool!

[Insert Trojan ad here] years of misery would all be unnecessary had I used one...

Dangit, I don't think I've ever been so ticked off in my life! And I don't like it one bit! It isn't me or my laid back style, but enough is enough. This is the straw that broke the ATMS' back. I don't want to be angry. It's out-of- character for me.

What I need is a nice gal to take off with to Jamaica with at a moment's notice and let my troubles simmer for a while... Who wants a sugar daddy???

Get me while the gettin's good!!!

I may decide to help her again [but much later - it's for her own good], but that really isn't going to come until she experiences some bumps and bruises on her own. Like the $75 worth of overdrafts she just got. Ha ha - she can't even balance a 120 bucks in a checkbook. At least I prolly won't be blowing a wad on college for her...
I just hope she straightens out. I've talked her till I was blue in the face about respect to no avail.

Hey look, I don't hate Heather. I just hate the way she treats me. When I found out she was smoking pot, I told her that if she's going to do it, to smoke it with me until she learns "the ways" [hoping she wouldn't really like it in the long run, but knowing that she won't get into trouble experimenting it with me]. That made Kim {my ex wife] FURIOUS. But she's a real dumbass too [My ex is possibly the very dumbest college graduate ever on the planet, - Eastern Michigan University should ask for their degree back] Kim started crying and called the cops on me. Silly biotch smoked it with me for 20 years. I also saw her through a bad cocaine addiction. Now she acts like shes a friggin saint cuzz she quit. Christ, I can't win... The cops couldn't find anything. Gee, really think I'm a stupid engineer? No way! I got my shit so tight three dogs couldn't find over a kilo! Dumb pigs. I smoked it in front of my wife and kid two seconds after they left, then kicked them out to go to their house and leave me alone...

Now you see why I haven't posted much lately. I like to make tra la la happy hippie type posts, and all that grateful dead shit - but NO, now I get to go around being ticked off, and I really dislike being this way.... I'm going bananas here! I think I'm too nice a guy to have to go through this shit. I've either been fighting my cancer, my back, or fighting my irrational, dysfunctional family for the past years. It has to end. I can't deal with it any more.

Ok I smoked a huge fucking joint of super de duper shit, and I feel a wee bit better... Thank you, weed.

Man, all I want is a nice calm gal to share my life with, to go out and take walks with, and do normal stuff with. Whatever that is... And just go about things much more melancholy than I have it right now. The gals my age around here are all opinionated, mostly pretty used up looking, and stuck up as hell, so I need to move out of this one horseface town... where the pretty and nice ladies are... Wherever that is...

My last girlfriend was 27, and I know it sounds bad, but it took 3 years to develop, and it was all her idea, really. I was teaching her guitar, and it just sort of happened... She was making me love again, but Dani got killed in a car wreck a couple years ago... It was fun while it lasted, about a year; but my ex wifey and Heather hated her, and tried to ruin things whenever they could. You see, I'm not allowed to be happy. They probably hated her because she was nice to them. As ironic as that sounds. I think that's why Heather acts like she hates me cuzz I'm always giving her what she wants. And she expects it. And totally disrespects me for trying to live my life.

Well, not any more. And certainly not for a long long time will I just hand her 10 bucks for gas, or whatever. That shits' done for a while. Life or death shit, I'll be there, otherwise, I'm going to "FUCK OFF" just like she told me to do when I was talking to Dell. She can do things for herself for a while - And - she should take over the world now while she still knows it all...

Then again, I just read about a 12 year old and her 10 year old sister who kidnapped a neighbor for $250,000.00. I guess it really could be worse, but please don't give my asshole kids any ideas...

Starting with the next lovely lady who says yes to going out with me to a Deep space Six show and doing a little dancing...

I'm looking for someone to share my hearts desires, and dreams with - and no one is going to stop me until I find her!! I need some balance back in my life. Damned if I'm going to let anyone stop me this time. It's my turn for happiness. I just won't tell her about my kids for a long long while.

I'm going to have fun in West Virginia, and a nice peaceful concert lots of friends, and the WV daydream festival awaits me!!!
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